He is an equal opportunity slut.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
