Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
