just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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