i permit you to call me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize