i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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