Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize