You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
you never un-have a 4some
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?