I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
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the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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