Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
