Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize