On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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