i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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