we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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