he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wish you could order shots online.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
