The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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