just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
