Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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