Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize