Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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