belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
