its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
