Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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