you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
