38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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