so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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