ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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