at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
why is half of my head shaved?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize