he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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