So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
