yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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