If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i already hear my dad disowning me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
