oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
