I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
