i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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