You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
