i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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