The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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