that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
that's an acceptable place to lick
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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