Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
