I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize