Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
