I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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