Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
