don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
