I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
