nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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