So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize