you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
