Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
