She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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