I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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