Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
