I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
