she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
whose ass print is on the piano?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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