I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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