Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
