shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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