it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
