Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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