Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
there is glitter all over my balls
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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