Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
