I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
